BOGOF? Just bog off

My email is choc-a-bloc with companies informing me that they have a sale on. When do they not have a sale on, these days?

Guitar shops are wafting bargains under my eager eyes hoping I will take the bait and add to my not inconsiderable collection of axes – I should be getting rid of guitars not coveting my next purchase.

Then there’s Holland & Barrett; foolishly I signed up for one of their loyalty cards and they are trying to tempt me in with ‘buy one get another for a penny’ sale. If you want to give me a bargain, can’t I get one for just a penny?

Boots are trying to soothe away my anxieties with unctions and ointments and 50% off when I spend more than £30. You’ll be lucky if I break into a tenner in there.

Then there’s my Nectar Card. I now have enough points to take my family to Legoland. I dont want to go to Legoland. I don’t have a family. You’d think with all this targetting and consumer insight they would know I’m a curmudgeonly git who would rather spend a relaxing afternoon in a pub than tromping around a place made of plastic bricks.

Buy one get one free is another poor effort to get me to consume. I walk up to the till with my shopping and I am informed that I can have two packs of pears for the price of one.

“I don’t want two packs of pears.”

“But one’s free.”


And then there’s Black Friday. The day after Thanksgiving where people thank God for what they have, then go out and buy some more.

What’s worse is that this American tradition, like all others has immigrated to England. It’s supposed to get people buying more on the run-up to Christmas.

But then we have the Boxing Day sales swiftly followed January Sales. Next it will be Valentines, Then Easter. There will be a time when every month will have some big event where we are tempted to splurge vast amounts of cash on shit we don’t need.

There are loyalty cards spilling out of our wallets and posters in windows informing us in letters 3 feet high that ‘surprise surprise’ there’s another sale on.

Here’s an idea, rather than bombard us with offers to get us into your shops now and again, how about pricing things lower so we walk in all year round?

Surely a constant stream of income looks better on the books? Or am I talking insanity?





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